It’s day two of NaBloPoMo. I wish I had something interesting to say, but I don’t. It’s very nearly the end of the day in fact, and I’ve been thinking all day about this post – but finding little I want to explore. Truthfully, that’s how I’ve been feeling a lot lately – like I just don’t have much to say or, more accurately, I don’t have much to say that’s worth saying or writing.

I thought when I finished school back in May that I would finally turn my attention toward numerous projects and ideas that I put on hold. I thought I would be liberated from a long, drawn out obligation and inspired to tackle life with a vigor that I couldn’t while I poured all my energy into writing a thesis. That hasn’t been the case. If anything, I’ve felt a real loss of purpose since finishing school.

That  loss of purpose has been a strange irony. Finally, I have not only the time but the creative energy to put toward anything I want, and yet I can’t think of anything I really want to do. I happily go about my regular routines (yoga, work, walking the dog, hanging with the husband, etc.), and the list of things I’d previously been so eager to accomplish faithfully await my attention.

I have forced myself to mark off a few items. I’ve completed my prenatal yoga training. I’ve painted the living room and kitchen. I’ve done some much needed organizing and rearranging in the yoga room/office. I’ve gotten some pictures framed that had been sitting in a closet for…years.

Yet, even those accomplishments sit somewhat unfinished. They and the other items on the list beckon to me on a regular basis, but I ignore them. I chose spontaneity instead. I take the dog to the park. I try a new recipe. I read a random book from the shelf of yet-to-be-cracked-open titles. (Currently, The Sun Also Rises.) I make play-lists from the 90s and dance through the house. I play the guitar…poorly. I play on the slack line. I paint a ridiculous number of glass jars with chalk board paint and then feel really proud of myself for accomplishing something.

I guess I’m choosing to be over choosing to do. And, it looks as though I’ll be sticking with it for awhile. Feel free to join me!

Three cheers for chalkboard paint!

Good dogs!

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